accounts from auj's progression through life

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Is it just hair?

The first time water spilled over my shaved head in a hot shower. My scalp leaped with ecstasy and the hair that I had left stood on end as my pores excited. I spent ten minutes rolling my head under the pouring water. I felt everything!

The response I got was different than what I had expected. I expected rude dismissals and awkward, secret stares. Instead I got curiosity, intrigue and so much positivity. Blatant comments, questions and soft hands stroking with and against the grain with amused faces pausing to experience it. I won twice. Not only do I feel free, but I feel beautiful too.

Being pregnant and bald I half expected to be rejected by the boys, and pitied by everyone else. But the boys increased their game instead and the girls all shared their stories with me.

It's just hair, but having shaved it off, I can see the truth. I can see that people love me for who I am. It's amazing. I feel so confident. And this time it took shedding my locks to realize it again. I really felt it was just hair, but today I am realizing that it is so much more. It sounds trite, but how can I deny it..

Mel sent me this today:

"Hey Audrey just wanted you to know that your "it's just hair" statement really helped me a lot today. Your art is helping others get through their hell. I am just now allowing myself to feel the reality of what just happened. feeling very numb and not as strong. Still trying but realizing if I don't let this out now I might be a bitter bitch the rest of my life and I don't want to be that person."

She cried for the first time since her incident today.

12:47 a.m. - 2009-10-20

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echo - impact