accounts from auj's progression through life

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All the things my baby learns.

when I was sick he brought me soup. When I'm hungry he offers me food. He always offers me food. "You need to eat." he says. He pats my growing belly and says it's pretty.

"I'm worried." he tells me while we're sitting in the cold waiting for my bus after a movie. "because I really like you.."

"it's weird for me too." I tell him. "But I'm enjoying your company. Just take it slow. Don't worry."

"I know you're strong." he tells me it gives him comfort knowing that I'm taking care of myself. But he likes me a lot and he knows what he's getting himself into and it scares him a little.

"If you ever do feel uncomfortable, I understand. I'm not going to take it personally. I know that I am, in a lot of ways, in this alone and it's going to be difficult for me for sure... But I'm enjoying the company too." I smile.

He gives me a first kiss on the cheek goodbye when my bus arrives. And a hug.

My belly is really showing. There is no hiding it anymore.

I've been teaching my baby laughter lately. laughter at the comedy club to dirty jokes, but baby doesn't understand. Sexuality. Laughter in embarrassment when my girlfriend orders a male stripper for her 27th birthday. He goes full monty and I realize I haven't seen a real live penis in four months until now. My cheeks hurt from laughter and my baby feels all the laughter. Laughter when a girlfriend at work tickles me while I'm on a call, trying to distract me. Silly laughter at a silly movie. And on Friday I'll teach my baby surprise, good humoured fear and laughter in relief when I remember where I am. We're going to the carnival for halloween to the haunted house. There's other laughter too. It happens all the time lately. There's no hiding behind hair, or flat bellies... only laughter.

12:51 a.m. - 2009-10-28

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

echo - impact