accounts from auj's progression through life

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Two days later

I'm in a weird head space right now. I had a meltdown at work today. I was crying in between customers and sometimes while I was talking to them even though I tried to reign it in. I don't want to quantify why I felt that way, I just want to let it out for a bit. Sleep or shower. My baby is hurting. It hurts.

I want to admit to myself what I want. I want a daddy's hand on my belly and a loving feeling and warmth from a man's body.

A couple of days later and I realize that those things will never satisfy me if they are not from the right person.

Another one bit the dust today as he told me about his past relationships and a red flag popped up. Dealbreaker. I'm out and he knows it.

I wrote an email to Mister Christopher today. Why, I don't know. it seems every couple of years or several months, I send out another message in a bottle to be deleted, ignored or whatever. I don't pour my heart out, I just write a little...and send it.

12:18 a.m. - 2009-10-30

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echo - impact